Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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