just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
