omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
