apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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