I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
