I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize