i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
