I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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