I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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