My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that's an acceptable place to lick
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
