I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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