your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That accounts for only three of the penises
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
