Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Randomize
