TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
