Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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