How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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