Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize