so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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