Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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