Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
