At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
