i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
