You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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