Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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  (775): Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :( http://tfl.nu/vkw0
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (849)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.

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  (405): I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day. http://tfl.nu/3skj
  Replies (7) Good night (929) Bad night (1468)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sounds like a blessing in disguise

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  (734): I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth (248): Sounds like a blessing in disguise http://tfl.nu/a82v
  Replies (13) Good night (2584) Bad night (904)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.

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  (678): He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going. http://tfl.nu/db5s
  Replies (20) Good night (4696) Bad night (1043)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.

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  (907): Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong. http://tfl.nu/skna
  Replies (8) Good night (2786) Bad night (830)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed

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  (215): For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed http://tfl.nu/2i1h
  Replies (2) Good night (1279) Bad night (487)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"

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  (712): I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it" http://tfl.nu/ijmk
  Replies (19) Good night (2623) Bad night (626)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?

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  (813): EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order? http://tfl.nu/uphg
  Replies (29) Good night (3829) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  ...the American dream.

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  (812): Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit. (1-812): ...the American dream. http://tfl.nu/qt7c
  Replies (15) Good night (3158) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.

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  (850): My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer. http://tfl.nu/izky
  Replies (10) Good night (596) Bad night (1234)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.

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  (480): Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night. http://tfl.nu/4efw
  Replies (13) Good night (749) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.

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  (520): Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are. http://tfl.nu/sjk3
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.

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  (407): Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks. http://tfl.nu/yvne
  Replies (6) Good night (1642) Bad night (321)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts

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  (205): I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts http://tfl.nu/716i
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (270)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.

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  (306): you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on. http://tfl.nu/ye8b
  Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (700)

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