i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.