neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.