Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...

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  (732): Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken... http://tfl.nu/8g1q
  Replies (55) Good night (9496) Bad night (1306)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.

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  (646): Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down. http://tfl.nu/gdah
  Replies (36) Good night (1080) Bad night (3287)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.

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  (803): When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3yj1
  Replies (10) Good night (5542) Bad night (764)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.

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  (931): my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling. http://tfl.nu/ym3n
  Replies (66) Good night (27672) Bad night (1342)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.

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  (630): Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening. http://tfl.nu/nbt7
  Replies (15) Good night (5409) Bad night (813)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

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  (540): just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/k011
  Replies (34) Good night (7579) Bad night (917)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.

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  (503): Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge. http://tfl.nu/ays0
  Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (1973)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.

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  (615): I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you. http://tfl.nu/xkmh
  Replies (1) Good night (1839) Bad night (894)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.

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  (612): i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese. http://tfl.nu/swul
  Replies (4) Good night (1645) Bad night (534)
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  (949): View more from California

  Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?

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  (949): Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday? http://tfl.nu/2an5
  Replies (7) Good night (1208) Bad night (701)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"

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  (719): I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!" http://tfl.nu/n0v3
  Replies (2) Good night (1446) Bad night (432)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS

  (205): View more from Alabama

  THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT

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  (205): I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS (205): THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT http://tfl.nu/3e0n
  Replies (3) Good night (978) Bad night (441)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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  (615): The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one http://tfl.nu/1h27
  Replies (3) Good night (1584) Bad night (345)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.

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  (701): You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty. http://tfl.nu/9ebp
  Replies (0) Good night (379) Bad night (210)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder

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  (317): So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder http://tfl.nu/lnpc
  Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (332)

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