thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.