Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  wow, that really makes you stop and think.

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  (804): Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys (1-804): wow, that really makes you stop and think. http://tfl.nu/7oma
  Replies (11) Good night (1398) Bad night (723)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She said she didn't have time to shave "there"

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.

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  (781): She said she didn't have time to shave "there" (617): Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster. http://tfl.nu/ama3
  Replies (58) Good night (910) Bad night (4711)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

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  (360): I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster. http://tfl.nu/yojg
  Replies (13) Good night (4483) Bad night (891)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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  (832): I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes. http://tfl.nu/wfe6
  Replies (34) Good night (796) Bad night (4385)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.

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  (727): I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake. http://tfl.nu/tfkj
  Replies (12) Good night (5581) Bad night (1206)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

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  (201): Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom. http://tfl.nu/isil
  Replies (20) Good night (1681) Bad night (2923)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet

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  (207): I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet http://tfl.nu/5wz6
  Replies (12) Good night (9208) Bad night (1228)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.

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  (203): Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs. http://tfl.nu/c91r
  Replies (26) Good night (1038) Bad night (3037)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.

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  (608): You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out. http://tfl.nu/pyc7
  Replies (3) Good night (1341) Bad night (633)
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  (760): View more from California

  She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder

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  (760): She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder http://tfl.nu/mb3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1102) Bad night (502)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.

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  (914): Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition. http://tfl.nu/iv4o
  Replies (20) Good night (2833) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.

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  (916): I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother. http://tfl.nu/2nlw
  Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy

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  (720): Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy http://tfl.nu/3y1o
  Replies (4) Good night (1013) Bad night (271)
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  (310): View more from California

  I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.

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  (310): I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady. http://tfl.nu/hbci
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight

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  (847): He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight http://tfl.nu/nfpj
  Replies (1) Good night (684) Bad night (296)

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