Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i love accidental penises.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
