I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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