Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
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