weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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