You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
