So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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