is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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