I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
