Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
