Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
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Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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