Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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