How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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