It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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