The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
