and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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