woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
