After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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