I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
