I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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