As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
