Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
