maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm passing your future prison.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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