We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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