i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
