please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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