I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
