I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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