Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
