just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
