All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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