We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
