2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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