Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
