so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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