what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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