sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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