How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
