Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
