his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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